Repentance, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation

Introduction Repentance, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Part 1

There has been a lot of discussion and disagreement concerning repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation and whether or nor we have to comply with these commands. For those of us who have not had any major or serious occurrences in our lives that require these three situations to be performed it may be easy to comply. However, for those who have had serious physical, mental, and/or sexual violations happen to them repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation can seem to be an impossible task, and rightly so. 

The Lord, in all His wisdom, has given us the tools we need to combat the struggles, anguish, pain, fear, and unworthiness we may feel as we do battle. And that is what it is, a spiritual battle where Satan tries to take away our joy, happiness, and to separate and destroy relationships we have with others, ourselves and our Lord. But victory can be ours because “greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world” 1 John 4:4. 

Some of the questions that come up are: does the person have to repent for the sin committed before they are forgiven (for the purpose of this discussion concerns are between people, not between us and God), do they have to be forgiven even if they repent, and does there have to be reconciliation involved? These are important and serious questions that must be resolved with the assistance of scripture and not what people may think or feel. Our emotions can’t be infused with the commands of scripture when we decide which road to take.

We are also told, and have to take into account, that we must love our neighbor (this commandment includes all people) as ourselves; Mark 12:31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” How does someone handle the situation if they know they are wrong in holding on to resentment, will not forgive, and have things happen in their lives which make them not love themselves, or feel they are at fault when they are not? People that are facing these types of challenges, and many others, are usually in no frame of mind to forgive, repent and restore at this point. 

Facing these challenges will be easier for some, but for others almost impossible. And to forgive and possibly reconcile WILL require the assistance of God in all circumstances, relying on Him and seeking His presence in order to succeed in the spiritual battle that people face.  

I know from experience because there was a time when I hated my dad, what he did and what he stood for. I had no thought of forgiving him, and because of his actions I was not expected to forgive him. But that was the secular view of what to do when people hurt people. Boy, was I wrong and it caused many sleepless nights and pain in my heart and gut. I did not know until much later that I was fighting a spiritual battle and one that I could not win. I was fighting my battle from the secular point of view where I was told to get justice by hating, getting even, paying back, telling the world of his faults, and to be tough. When I tried that method I did get partial relief; I felt vindicated, and was happy to be handling it myself. But that did not last long because I still felt bad about the situation; there was still hurt in my heart, I still had pain that I did not understand, and there was no permanent relief. 

The real cure was discovering the genuine truth in what God tells us in scripture on how to handle the problems of hate, resentment, forgiveness, and restoration (or not to restore.) It was a hard pill to swallow but one that provided healing, peace, and joy in my soul that goes beyond understanding (Philippians 4:7.) Jesus gives the opportunity for His believers to win this and other spiritual battles, however, the believer must believe, have faith, and be obedient to His word in all circumstances in order to succeed. He does not accept ‘salad bar’ saints that pick and choose what they want to believe and follow. 

Part two, three and four will show scriptures that explain repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation, and which is mandatory and what is optional (and sometimes not acceptable.) Those three words may seem trivial, less important, and not worthy of seriously considering their importance, but I assure you scripture does not, as you will see.