Repentance Forgiveness and Reconciliation Part 3

Do we have to forgive?

Again, that is an easy question if the sin against us is minor. But there are extreme circumstances of unimaginable serious sins committed on people that seem to negate or make exception to the command to forgive others. In our humanness, and even within some cultures, we are led to believe we can forgo forgiveness at certain times, and even be blessed.

However, we must remember we are dealing with our commitment to the Lord, accepting Him as our Savior and agreeing to be obedient to His commandments. He knows all the circumstances surrounding the need for forgiveness in both minor and extreme cases. In the difficult times of trying to forgive others we MUST remember to look to Jesus for the answers, the ways and means, the power, and the ability to forgive. It will NEVER be accomplished on our own power because we are powerless.

So, to answer the above question is, “Yes,” if you want to receive the gift of salvation, according to Mark 11:25, Colossians 3:12-13, and Matthew 6:15.

As difficult as it seems, scripture tells us that if we are genuine believers we must forgive. It is a command not a request and we are deemed a liar, if we don’t forgive. And remember, there are no liars in heaven!

1 John 2:4-6 “He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him.”   

Mark 11:25 “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

How do we forgive? Put away all bitterness and forgive as God forgives us:

Colossians 3:12-13: “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

Eph. 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

And do I have to keep forgiving? Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Wow, that seems like an impossible task for some but nothing is impossible with the help of our Lord. Luke 18:27 “But he said, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

I personally know the power of forgiveness and forgiving. God has helped me to forgive and blessed me with being forgiven by others when I should not have been. And it came by His power not by ours.

There is one, almost, unbelievable occurrence of forgiveness I have witnessed that even adds more power to my conviction that God can do anything. In early 1991 my wife and I lived in Austin Texas where there was an ice cream store. Late one evening two young men entered the store and robbed the three teenage girls working there. Two were sisters, 15 and 17. The other was also 17. Not only did they take the money, they brutally, in ways I will not repeat, beat, tortured, and sexually assaulted these three teenage girls. Then, they killed them. Years went by before these young men were apprehended by the police. At the trial they showed no remorse, were convicted, and sentenced to death. Needless to say, the mothers (and families) of these girls were devastated beyond imagination.

I don’t remember how many months after the trial it was, but I watched a program where the two mothers of these teenage victims were being interviewed. As I watched and listened to the mother who lost her only daughter, I saw a person who was filled with anger, hatred, vindictiveness, and even appeared tormented. She could not sit still; she was nervous and when spoke the anger was very apparent in her face. She said she hated these killers, wanted to be there when executed and even wanted to pull the lever. Her life was ruined, she and her husband were divorced, and her life revolved around their eventual execution. You could not watch this mother and see her pain without connecting with her and her feelings. I am sure she broke many hearts as viewers watched and saw, and some felt because of similar circumstances, her pain.  The lack of Jesus and unforgiveness RUINED her life. 

Then, there was the other mother who lost her two daughters. After all these years after the tragedy, this mother sat quietly, calmly, and with composure. She said the impossible. She said something to the effect of…it took a lot of prayer, struggle, crying, being challenged, and fighting with my emotions but I finally forgave the two murderers! She did not reconcile, condone, or ignore the severity, inhumanity or violence inflicted on her daughters by these young men. But God told her (in His Word) to forgive them (and she did!) and she chose to cherish the time she had with her children. She went to the prison and told the two men face to face that she forgave them for what they did. The audience gasped, and the interviewer was stunned and could not believe it. But by this mother’s actions, composure, faith in God, and the way she handled the situation, you could see that she was sincere. The presence of Jesus in her life and the ability to forgive saved her life.

 She was not a “salad bar Christian” who picks and chooses which commandments to follow depending on what she feels and thinks. Even though it was extremely difficult to do, she followed the commandment to forgive. Many times, I wonder if I could follow her example if put in that position.

On the other hand, we have Christians who say (I have heard them personally), “I will never forgive ‘so and so’ because of what he said.” And I have even had a close friend (so I thought) tell me, “I will never forgive you until you apologize to me” about something he differed with me concerning prayer. 

How petty and trivial are some of the things we consider important and will withhold forgiveness when most of us don’t know the meaning or could handle the challenge of truly forgiving.     

Do we have to forgive in order to receive the gift of salvation from our Lord? It is a positive, “YES,” according to scripture. No way around it, no excuses, and no unusual circumstances will be considered. OUR sins are unconditionally forgiven: Isaiah 43:25 

“I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” No matter how bad they are. And, if we withhold forgiveness it will be withheld from us: Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

There are no people who withhold forgiveness in heaven according to scripture.