WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE

Communication

Communication technology has improved however man’s ability to communicate properly and accurately has not. We speak but often we exaggerate, twist, don’t tell the entire story, express anger, and hostility, insinuate, and often lie in our communication. The lack of proper and accurate communication can be deadly at worst and inconvenient at least. September 2014; Avoidable miscommunication between U.S. air and ground forces led to a “friendly fire” incident in Afghanistan that killed five U.S. soldiers and one Afghan in June, according to a military investigation report.” Improper communication can also dissolve friendships, and create enemies.

I am prompted to share my thoughts in this article because of the variety of positive and negative stories I have encountered. Consider this; my wife told me about the growth and great communication going on within a small group of young struggling mothers. Many are immature, do not know Jesus, and have difficult, sometimes abusive, life circumstances in their past. It is called Embrace Grace and is a 12-week Bible study program that involves young single mothers-to-be. The ladies are introduced to the grace of God, how to navigate the stresses and problems of being pregnant, bonding, stabilizing their lives, and the value of knowing, accepting, and following Jesus among many other things.

The point I want to make is that after 10 weeks of this latest session one of the ladies said, via their group text, she was struggling. Immediately the other moms-to-be (one already had children) started communicating with the struggling mom-to-be with encouragement, suggestions, and advice. They showed growth, ability to bond with others, concern and compassion, and most importantly the value of encouraging each other with positive and clear communication.

Another example is the way communication is presented on the internet which is sometimes total lies, distortion, false innuendos, fear-mongering, and the unabashed desire to incite people to believe their side while secretly demonizing the other side. Political lies have been around forever. When I was a kid, I remember listening to a debate between Senators Barry Goldwater and President Lyndon Johnson in 1964 on the radio. I also remember reading the newspaper the next day and knowing firsthand what they published were lies and distortions concerning what Senator Goldwater said the night before. Why did they do it, there are many answers. Could it be Johnson was a good old boy from Texas and they liked him while Goldwater was a Jew and we could not have a Jew for president? Not much has changed. The distortions, lies, and deception printed and in today’s technology are no different. Most times it is still slanted and inaccurate. Even some of the fact-checkers get it wrong. Emotions and desired results can and do affect communications.   

What about us Christians and the way we communicate? We should be the best communicators because we have the best communicator as our role model, Jesus. In the Scriptures, He has provided us with information on how to communicate, how to communicate with our friends and our enemies. But do we listen and follow His expert advice?  Many times, no. And that is what I would like to address, His children and the pitiful way some communicate or not communicate.

Let me give you an example of some of the problems I have seen between Christians over the past 20+ years I have been in the mission field. And it is just not me who sees the problems, hypocrisy, pride, jealousy, and meanness involved in the communication between Christians, God sees it and so do the non-believers and others around us who are watching. And I am sure you also have stories to tell that are similar to mine. 

Some of the articles I posted in the past were controversial and a few readers replied with “take me off your readers list” with no communication with me as to why and what they disliked about the article.  Did they communicate and discuss this with me, no, they just said take me off your list. Numerous times I have seen Christians that have had disagreements with others that have caused a rift in the friendship. But when asked what was the matter the response was “Nothing is wrong” all the while everyone knew that something was not right. I have personally listened to pastors tell the congregation “If you have a concern or want to advise us of something send an email and let us know.” Numerous times I have even asked for a reply but never received one.

A major problem I see that happens inside and outside of church is that when people discuss or argue an issue, many times they listen to defend and not listen to understand. In society, I can understand but within the body of Christians, it should never happen. I could go on but I am sure you have seen or been involved in the problems that arise when people do not communicate well.

I will leave you with great advice and things to consider concerning communicating, understanding, and listening. Consider:

Eph. 4:29, Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

James 1:19, Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

Eph. 4:15, Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

Matt. 7:24, Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Proverbs 2:2, Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;

Eph. 4:18, They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.

Prov. 3:13, Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding,

We are called to be truthful when we answer questions, listen to understand, be compassionate, communicate honest feelings, and be tentative to their concerns when interacting with others and show love even in the heat of a combative discussion. Meditate on what Jesus calls us to do when communicating and if we practice and follow His commands people will see us in a different light.  

Remember it is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt! (My modern translation of Proverbs 17:28)