SOMETIMES IT’S TOO LATE

June 2025

Yes, there is a time when it is too late for some things. In our faith, the scriptures state that it is too late for an adult to obtain salvation when they die while never accepting the Lord as their Savior. And most of the time, it’s too late when we attack and say things in the heat of the moment to someone, which causes them pain when they try to take it back. That is why James 3:1-12 tells us the importance of taming the tongue.

Usually, when Christ followers say or do something to someone sinful, such as speaking harsh words or gossiping, it is not done intentionally. However, the words are out, and it is too late to take them back; however, they can have limited consequences, unlike other sins.    

One sin (word or action), just as one person, can have a profound effect on a person or many people. The effect may be immediate, and the ramifications may be minor, causing little damage. On the other hand, the effects of that sin can linger, smoldering until, sometime in the future, it rears its ugly head and has a profound negative effect on that person; also, the original sinner does not know the damage caused by a long-ago sin committed by them. Unfortunately, it can be too late; the damage was done. 

I know what I am talking about because I have committed sins long ago that affected people, and I have seen damage done in that moment, but I had no idea the damage it continued to cause them in the future.

As you read my story, you may be able to put yourself in the situations I am describing, or at least see how your sins have contributed to the negative consequences and lasting effects of your actions when left unchecked.

Sinning was easy; I blamed my problems on others and took no responsibility for my actions or the consequences. The day I graduated from the Detroit Police Academy, my wife moved out and left me to raise our two-year-old son. It was 1970, and the women’s lib movement was in full swing, and she wanted to be single. It’s a long story, but the cliff notes are that I knew of Jesus but was not walking with Him. However, I did pray that my wife would return to my son and me so we could be a happy family. That did not happen, so I acted out against God and His morals. 

Being a police officer opens the door for a flood of available female companionship and other advantages, which I accepted and used that opportunity selfishly. I also discovered that raising a small child was a great lead-in when flirting, and the ladies were compassionate, sympathetic, and an easy target.

As the years went by, my son enjoyed the attention from the variety of females I dated (I realized later that it was because he did not see any competition because I was not serious with any of them), and I did not see any signs of anger or resentment from him. It was not until I met a particular (married) woman that things started to change. She decided to get a divorce, so she and her three children (2 daughters and a son) and my son and I became an item. From the beginning, our relationship was physical while our personalities were like oil and water; they did not jell. By then, my son was about 7 years old, and her children were within three years of his age, and we had been living together for a couple of years. All the while, we (she and I) were clueless as to the effect our relationship (and sins) were having on our children, and they were affected – very negatively. In reality, I had no intention of marrying her, and if things got too bad, I was out the door. That was my frame of mind. Again, I was only thinking of myself, what I wanted, and my feelings were all that mattered.

After about seven years in our relationship, anger and resentment were finally exposed between my son and my girlfriend, and between her son and me, we parted ways. It was too late; the damage had been done among the six of us, and it was not redeemable. Satan had won. He drove a wedge between children and adults, children and children, and to this day, Satan is still causing resentment. The two blind, selfish adults did not take the time to consider anything but their own desires and were, and not only we, paying the price of our sin. Originally, I wanted to marry and have a large family, but sins, negative situations, resentment towards many different people and situations caused me to change my mind, and I made sure that I would not have any children in the future.  

Again, the damage was done, sins committed, lives affected, pain and suffering inflicted, and emotions that can’t be erased are here to stay and can (and probably did) grow.

The point I am trying to make is that whenever we do something (sin) and do not consider the consequences of our actions, the ramifications and harm to others can be never-ending. My girlfriend’s and my sins did not just affect us; they affected our children and probably affected their views on marriage, sex, conflict management, and how relationships are supposed to be. In turn, that affects the relationship with their peers, spouses, and marriage. If left unchecked and unresolved, the damage (and sins) could continue to be passed on from generation to generation. We were so blind!

As I said earlier, I did not want to have any children in the future; that was a comment and affect that I would regret. Eventually, I submitted to the Lord, repented, and was forgiven, and God provided me with a wonderful woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She would have been a perfect mother to our children. However, because of my lack of wisdom, sinfulness, having no mentor, and being steeped in my selfishness, I chose a path where it became too late for me. One of the consequences of my sin was that I sacrificed future children for temporal pleasures. And for that mistake, I take all the blame and regret the consequences to this day. 

However, I do know that the damage of past sins could be held in check for some, but for others, it could be too late. God, in His grace, has forgiven me for the sins and damage I have caused in the past, and for that, I am sure and forever grateful. But it does not erase the sadness and regret I feel in my heart for those I have hurt. This type of damage is not just limited to relationships and sex; it encompasses all types of sinful acts. Sins may be different, but the reactions, consequences, and ramifications are the same – destruction. 

The point of this article is to encourage people to seriously consider the consequences of their actions before they act, regardless of how minor or serious the situation is. Consider others (Philippians 2:3-5) in all you do, and not just yourself and what you desire. Sin never hurts just one person!

I also encourage you to share the point of this message with others (especially with young people) and continue to remind them that there are serious consequences to sin that can carry on indefinitely if not checked.

As a Christ follower, you will regret it even though you are forgiven.