Is It Ever Too Late?

Yes, there is a time when it is too late, for several reasons. Our faith teaches that an adult who dies without ever accepting the Lord as their Savior has missed the opportunity for salvation. More often, it is too late when we lash out in the heat of the moment and say something we regret deeply because of the pain it causes. That is why James 3:1-12 stresses the importance of taming the tongue.

When we carry out a sin, it may not be too late for the sinner, who can repent. But it may be too late for the people our sin has touched. One sin, like one person, can have a profound effect on many. The effect may be immediate, with minor ramifications and little damage. Or it may linger and smolder until some day in the future it rears its ugly head and does serious harm, while the original sinner has no idea that a sin committed long ago is the cause. By then it can be too late to stop the damage.

I know this firsthand. I have committed sins long ago that hurt people. I have seen the damage in the moment, and I have no idea how much it continues to cause. But rest assured, the damage continues into the future.

As you read my story, you may be able to see yourself in these situations, or at least see where your own sins have contributed to lasting consequences.

Sinning was easy. I blamed my problems on others and took no responsibility for my actions or their consequences. The day I graduated from the Detroit Police Academy, my wife moved out and left me to raise our two-year-old son. It was 1970; the women’s liberation movement was in full swing, and she wanted to be single. It’s a long story, but the short version is that I knew of Jesus and was not walking with Him. I did pray that my wife would return to my son and me so we could be a happy family. When that didn’t happen, I acted out against God and everything His morals stood for.

Being a police officer opened the door to a flood of available female companionship, and I used that opportunity selfishly. I also discovered that being a single father made a great lead-in when flirting. The women were compassionate and sympathetic, and they were easy targets.

As the years went by, my son enjoyed the attention from the variety of women I dated. I realized later that it was because he saw no competition, since I was never serious about any of them. I saw no signs of anger or resentment in him. That began to change when I met a particular woman who was married. She decided to get a divorce, and she, her three children (two daughters and a son), my son, and I became a family of sorts. From the beginning, our relationship was physical, while our personalities were like oil and water and never blended. By then my son was about seven, her children were within three years of his age, and we had been living together for a couple of years. We were clueless about the effect our relationship, and our sin, was having on the children. They were affected, and very negatively. In truth, I had no intention of marrying her, and if things got bad, I was out the door. I was thinking only of myself, of what I wanted. My feelings were all that mattered.

After about seven years, the anger and resentment finally surfaced between my son and my girlfriend, and between her son and me, and we parted ways. It was too late. The damage between the four of us was done, and it could not be repaired. Satan had won. He drove a wedge between children and adults, and between the children themselves, that still causes resentment to this day. Two blind, selfish adults never considered anything but their own desires, and we were not the only ones paying the price. Originally, I had wanted to marry and have a large family, but sin, negative situations, and resentment toward many people and circumstances changed my mind, and I made sure I would never have children in the future.

The damage was done. Sins were committed, lives were affected, pain and suffering were inflicted, and emotions that can’t be erased are here to stay and can, and probably did, grow.

My point is this: when we sin without considering the consequences, the harm to others can be never-ending. My girlfriend’s sins and mine did not affect only us. They affected our children, and probably shaped their views on marriage, sex, conflict, and how relationships are supposed to work. That, in turn, affects their relationships with peers and spouses. Left unchecked and unresolved, the damage and the sin behind it can be passed down from generation to generation.

I said earlier that I did not want children in the future. That was a decision I would come to regret. Eventually I met a woman who loves the Lord, and she helped me change my life. We married, and I submitted to the Lord, repented, and was forgiven, and God gave me a wonderful woman I am spending the rest of my life with. She would have been a perfect mother to our children. But because of my lack of wisdom, my sinfulness, the absence of a mentor, and my deep selfishness, I had chosen a path that would not allow me to father any more children. It had become too late for me. One consequence of my sin was that I sacrificed future children for temporary pleasure. For that mistake, I take all the blame.

I do know that the damage of past sins can be held in check for some people, but for others it may be too late. God, in His grace, has forgiven me for the sins and the damage I caused, and of that, I am sure. But forgiveness does not erase the sadness and regret I feel for those I hurt. This kind of damage is not limited to relationships and sex. It reaches every kind of sinful act. The sins may differ, but the consequences are the same: destruction.

The purpose of this message is to encourage you to think about the consequences of your actions before you act, whether the choice seems minor or major. Consider others (Philippians 2:3-5) in all you do, not just yourself and what you desire. Sin never hurts just one person!

I also encourage you to share this message with others, to remember it yourself, and to keep reminding people that sin carries serious consequences that can go on indefinitely if left unchecked.

P.S. Something else to think about: “Sometimes a lie is easier to deal with than the truth.” Don’t fill your life with the idea of taking the easy way out!